- Anti Joke

A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

Why did the boy cross the road? He didn't he stopped and fapped.

What do you call a baby who was raped and murdered? Funny

A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

for keeps?

Alex Eggbert

knock knock come in

I'm gay. No homo.

knock knock who's there aids

Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??