How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

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What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

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Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

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Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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A Guy walks into a Bar, has a good time and leaves

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What do you call a deaf black man? Well, if you did not already know his name, you would first have to contact a member of his family, or a friend, and ask them, as even if you were able to communicate the question of 'what is your name?' to the man, it is well known that the speech of deaf people is nowhere near as clear as that of people who are able to hear.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered his family.

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What's worse than the unwarrented death of six milliion Jews? The death of six million and one Jews

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Did the Chicken cross the road? No the road moved the chicken across.

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"Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running??" "Yes..." "Oh. Well then have a nice day."

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If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

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What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

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how many moms can you fit in a bathtub? as many as you want

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eloise dey.

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Q. How did the little girl fall of the swing? A.She got hit by a fridge

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey. By darragh hamilton

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Roses r red violets r blu I hav5 fingers the middle ones for u

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Why couldn't the baby boy read the book? He had eye cancer and was therefore blind.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose... But that's disgusting.

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how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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