A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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Q: Whats worse that 10 dead babies in a trash can? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to....

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

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Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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A black guy walks into a dilapidated house and purchases large amounts of narcotics. Racism isn't funny.

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

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5

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Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops