Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

Black people are ugly. They should not live in this world. They are apes. They should live as apes not humans. Why do they have ugly curly hair, fat lips, and a big flat nose? SO UGLY!! EWW

What's funny about the holocaust? Nothing. Whoever thinks the holocaust is funny is a dick.

Why is Roenz Gay? He isnt.

An Hispanic married couple walked into a popular restaurant. The waiter arrived at their table and asked what they would like to eat. The husband ordered a steak and his wife ordered a salad. They both enjoyed their food, payed the bill and happily walked out of the restaurant.

Im So Hood... That When I go Shopping, I Buy Sweatshirts with Hoods

why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!

who is awesome? no one...

a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

What does this and this have in common , wait I was meant to put pictures up, aww

Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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