A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call women playing the sport of lacrosse? I dont think it matters because Women's Lacrosse isn't a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats a black persons favorite flavored cake? fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's gay, has ten eyes and is gay. One D. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Penis penis poop butt

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he, he's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Guy 1: "Hey do you want to hear a joke?" Guy 2: "Sure" Guy 1: "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange WHO? Knock knock? WHO'S THERE?! Orange Williams. Sorry, I suffer from debilitating OCD.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's funny about a blond, a brunette, and a red-head, drunk in a Cadillac? Everyone knows integration is a myth.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What can you never have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

who smells? •Liam

thumb_up thumb_down +15

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops