Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake!

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Two boys were walking down a building which was under construction. Suddenly a brick hits the 1 one in the head while the 2 guys aunt was in America.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Why didn't the boy have any toes? - Because he did not have any legs.

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How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

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How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

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Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

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knock! knock! whos there? doctor doctor who? no Doctor Brown, you have cancer

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You might be a Redneck...if your job requires you to work long hours out in the sun and you do not take advantage of sunscreen.

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Why did Coolio appear in the joke below? He did not, he was not for real at this particular situation... Well It was actually a typo because some douchebag told me Coolio sang that song and I forgot to change the name after finding the truth... Moral: YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

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What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Knock Knock.

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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*prepares this to get negged*

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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