A man walks into a bar. ouch.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why do gay guys like push pops? Because they are a delicious lollipop treat.

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There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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Why are the British so uptight? I don't think they are.

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A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why was the women out of the kitchen? She felt the desire to relax after a day of work...

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Hashtag

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why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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An Asian Woman is late and is driving her car very fast to her daughters wedding. She arrives at a reasonable time to witness the whole event.

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Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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