Three monkeys are sitting in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? -He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -Peer pressure.

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Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A thief. What do u call a black man in school? Janitor. What do you call a black man in court? Guilty

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Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

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Q.why was ireland takin over by the brits A.they wanted it

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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Why did the Mexican go to the food marke To get some food.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

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Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

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Whats worse than a dead whore? 9/11

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

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gdfhtrfcgsexdfchrthgdfggfhtdtfhdtyfgfdfcghfgdyghhyrtfgrdfdffdtgdfgfghrthfg Alzheimer's.

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What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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Your Mom.

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guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not. Numbers are not living organisms and thus are incapable of experiencing emotion.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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