Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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How many anti-joke fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Or two if it's a really high bulb and you need a second person to hold the ladder for safety.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

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Your mom.

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press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

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what did the black guy say to his friend who was on acid? man you trippin.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

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Q:What did grandma get for christmas? A:a coffen

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What do a black person and a monkey have in common? A. They both are organism that need food and water to survive.

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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