Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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IU football

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

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A doctor is delivering a baby on April fool's day. He says, "Congradulations, it's a boy." He then says,"April fools! Your child was stillborn."

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weiner? balls

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motley crew

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

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A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

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Sonic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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