Weiner

What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

How do you scare a blonde? Put the barrel of a gun to the side of her head.

What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

I lost my tractor.

9001

What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

What's worse than cancer? Death.

It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

well the duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand "quack" then went on its way

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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