So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rather sleep in the class Like a boss in the school -HairyBoss

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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A duck waddles into a bar. He orders a drink and promtly drinks it vecause he has had a hard day at work.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

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Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

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Why is pi? Because circles.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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Are you Drew?

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knock knock who's there police

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

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womens rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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