How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

Knock, knock (No one was home)

Hey youknow what's funny???? Jokes

What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? You haven't? Well neither has he

Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

What's a small person? A midget

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

Like if you like big tits.

What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

The Treatment of Steve Bartman

How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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