Why did the black guy only turn left? Because he was mentally retarded and couldn't tell left from right and had no idea where he was going

When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

An Irishman walks out of a bar...

What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

What does WTF stand for? Welcome to Facebook!

How can you put 2 elephants in a bottle without touching each other. You put an elephant between them.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck!

What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

What did the cowboy say to the skunk? You smell.

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Having legs.

How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

asian, do math

I have a crush on my dad.

How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

penis

What's worse then 10 babies nailed to one tree? Nailed to 10 trees

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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