Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

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why did Max cry??? chicken

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to....

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Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

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What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

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get on your knees and make a donut face:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops