A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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how do you save a black guy from drowning. with a life preserver.

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two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

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What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

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If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

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can't wait until the baby boomers die

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

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Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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why is Justin Berber gay? hes not thats rust a myth

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Watch your lips.

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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What happened to boy who fell down the stairs? He died. What happened to the girl who fell down the same stairs? The boy who fell down the stairs hit her down the stairs too and they both died What happened to the man fell down these very same stairs? He got peer pressure and committed suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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