Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What's funny about 9/11? All of it.

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Knock-Knock The man wasn't home, so there was no answer.

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What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

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What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

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A blonde and a brunette are falling from a cliff. They are going to die.

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Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

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roses are red facebook is blue no mutual friends who the heck are you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

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why do i want to get raped because then its not rape

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Why don't people like this joke? It makes no sense.

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what happened to Timmy when he fell off his bike? CANCER.

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Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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What did the pig say after having sex? "Oink".

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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BALLS! said the Queen if i had them i would be King

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What do you call a black man at the front of a bus? A bus driver

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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What's worse than being hit by a mini van? Being hit by 5 mini vans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops