Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Doorbell salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

tried to think of a great "anti-joke" not creative enough

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Your mamas so fat. She fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

bob saget

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the last joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +36

TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

thumb_up thumb_down +34

1:Knock Knock 2:Who's there 1: Your cousin tyler He was then brought in with the rest of the family to celebrate Thanks giving.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo momma is so fat, I gave her a cupcake and she enjoyed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops