emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

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Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

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Why do people make antijokes? Because they can

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a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

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What do you call an Arab on an airplane? A passenger.

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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hi im paul ! im an alien :D tyuioyt5rtyuikfuhgdehjdhfghjhgfjjhfjfjdjdjd i pe out of my finger :D

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A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

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S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocost

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Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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A black baby dies and goes to Heaven. When god put wings on him the baby sais, "Ahh gee god am I an angel?" Then god sais, "Nahh nigga you a bat."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a shark in your apple.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

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How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

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What do you do when a black man points a gun at your face? you do what he tells you to do.

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Why did the leper go back into the shower? he missed a spot.

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops