A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What do you get when you cross a rare breed of penguin with a horse. A: Well to be fair, turtles have shells

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Black Man walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A black man walks up to the cashier with twenty buckets of KFC and seventeen gallons of grape Kool - Aid. The cashier says, "Do you want a bag for those?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the bartender cry when a construction worker ordered a Jack and Coke? His son Jack had run away five years ago to sell cocaine; his father hadn't seen him since.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

connor sucks

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy laugh? Mr Tickle was his babysitter

thumb_up thumb_down -3

HEy Hey Hey! Lakers are so going to bounce back!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many one does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black man with cancer? A very unfourtunate man.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

yo mama is so fat she is 1 candy bar away from dieing

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Aladdin found a rusty old lamp at the foot of a mountain. He rubbed it and the Ginnie had died after the long drop from the cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened to the newlywed couple who couldn't tell the difference between KY jelly and window putty? All their windows fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops