How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

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Whats the best part about 23 year olds? Theres 20 of them

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What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a joke.

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Why couldn't the baby boy read the book? He had eye cancer and was therefore blind.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

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Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

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Womens rights

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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What's worse than doing the dishes with long sleeves? Finding out your girlfriend's been cheating on you.

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

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A man walks into a bar, and has to go to the hospital because he broke his nose.

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Chuck Norris once punched a horse in the chin. Nearby people were disgusted at this act and immediately reported him for animal abuse. Today he is in prison

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"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nazi flag

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A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops