What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

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What's funny about 9/11? All of it.

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A blonde and a brunette are falling from a cliff. They are going to die.

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Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

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roses are red facebook is blue no mutual friends who the heck are you

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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why do i want to get raped because then its not rape

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What did the pig say after having sex? "Oink".

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Why don't people like this joke? It makes no sense.

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what happened to Timmy when he fell off his bike? CANCER.

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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BALLS! said the Queen if i had them i would be King

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Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

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What's worse than being hit by a mini van? Being hit by 5 mini vans.

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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What do you call a black man at the front of a bus? A bus driver

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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who farted your mother

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted of in space.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops