What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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What is the difference between a duck? It can neither ride a bike.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

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i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

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How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mark. Oh Hai Mark

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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Leave her alone...

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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How do you kill a fashion icon? First make sure their blonde and stupid like most. then take a barstool preferably or what ever is closest then........ WACK HER IN THE EMPTY SPOT WHERE HER BRAIN SHOULD BE.

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Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

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a dog walks into a drug store and orders a bone. what does the cashier do? she wakes up.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

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what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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I've got a dig bick

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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