Your Mamas So Fat That When She Jumped Into The Ocean All The Whales Swam Around And Started Sinqinq (We Are Family Even Though Your Fatter Than Me.)xD

What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

Why didn't the boy run the marathon? He was cripple.

Knock knock Who's there? Joke Joke who? Auntie Joke Great, could you bake me those cookies I like.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

19th amendment

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he felt like it.

what did the blind man say as he past the fish market? he asked one of the fisherman if they had any fresh catch that day and bout three tuna steaks for his wife and son

So I went to my grandmothers house at 7 and left at 8.

What's 6 + 9? 15.

What do you call an African baby?............................................ A Nigglet.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

Take my wife- to the store.

A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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