A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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What do you call a black man? Jamal

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm Blind.

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why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

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An asian loses to you in starcraft..

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what do you watch ? a tv

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms. A: Knock knock! B: Who's there? A: Not Sally.

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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What's worse than falling on concrete? Being eaten by futuristic mutant trees in a volcano

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Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

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what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

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GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

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Knock Knock Who's There? Mom Mom who? Open the door idiot

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What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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