If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

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Why are fat people fat? Because they like food.

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ugh good riddance

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what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

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Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

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violets are blue, my name is Dave. this poem makes no sense. microwave.

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What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

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You smell like shit

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

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There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

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what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

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"Knock Knock!" "Who's Their?" "Mew" "Mew Who?" "Mew Two Stupid! Get yo Pokemon FACTS Right!" "Mew Two Proceeds to walk away in distress"

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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test

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Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

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Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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