The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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What do you call a black man driving a bus? By his name

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

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Why did the depressed teenager die? Because he had cancer.

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What do you call a mexican driving a plane? Well.. nothing because you can't drive plane's but if a Mexican man was able to FLY a plane, he would be a pilot.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 3

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Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

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A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

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A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me, Dave. You still wanna go to the movies? Oh, yeah...let me grab my wallet.

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What's gay, has ten eyes and is gay. One D. Kelvin Yang.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he was stupid.

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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A gay kid and a group of his friends are at the park. Gay: hey can you do a cartwheel? Girl: helllll no! Gay: Are you straight? Girl: Yah? Gay: Im gay and i can do one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops