What happened when the teacher told the class to be quite? The class was quite.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

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Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

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Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

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What's the difference between an apple and an orange? 87

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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A black man walks up to a bank teller and pulls out a gun, he proceeds to tell the bank teller he saw a white man drop it outside the bank.

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What is the most important thing to have during a zombie apocalypse? Oxygen.

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how does a black woman find out if she is pregnant? she takes a pregnancy test

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

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why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Knock Knock Hows there Theres no time for this you have AIDS

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Dont you guys just hate it when someone puts a stupid joke on anti-joke?

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Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

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What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

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a black man, spanish man, and white man all fall off a building. and as they fall, i wonder: why are you laughing?

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What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

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So did you hear what happened to the deaf guy? He didn't either

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What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS UPS who? UPS, your package is here.

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your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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