A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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-Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? -No -Niether have they

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What's black and white and red all over? Colors

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Why did the man fall down? He got shot

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Why did the Jew die? Because Hitler was born...

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

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What do you say to Michael and Justin? The Game

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Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because it was a hammer.

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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