Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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What did one gorilla say to the other? Urgh.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

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A grandmother in her late seventies is walking to the grocery store. Then out of nowhere,she stats getting pelted by bananas. One hits her hard on the head,and she dies.

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Your time.

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I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

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What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

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Why are oranges blue? Wait there orange... right

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Shane Murchan is GAY ..... :L

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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A black guy walks into a bar... he sits down and has a drink

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Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

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Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

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I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

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SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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