What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

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Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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What's black, white and red all over? A popular novel printed in multiple languages.

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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A. Four gay men walked into the bar there was one stool left what did they do? B. They flipped the chair upside down By grant c

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why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

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ObamaCare

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If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

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Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

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why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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matt shut up

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69

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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