whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

whats bright and yellow? the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's red and on fire? My crotch

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the girl say to her tits? I wanna suck u.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the tractor run over the little boy? because he was in the way!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

126

thumb_up thumb_down -46

On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

thumb_up thumb_down +99

What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

thumb_up thumb_down +53

I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Mitch

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

thumb_up thumb_down -23

pizzano is a tool.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops