A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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A. Four gay men walked into the bar there was one stool left what did they do? B. They flipped the chair upside down By grant c

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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