A black man owns his own night club. He tells the white man to look out for his night club. The white man bangs his head. The black man says, I told you to look out, you have now bumped into my big club that I take out at night time.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

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a Chinese man an and a southern red neck walked into a country club and the chinese man got jumped and he left with no money

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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7>6

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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What kind of cat has no tail? Manx cat

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a knife? Stabbed.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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What do you call a mexican riding a bike? A cyclist.

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops