What's black and blue and red all over Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +35

matt shut up

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

thumb_up thumb_down +61

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What would be a good feature for this site? A search by keyword feature. (sorry...)

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Two gay guys hosted a barbecue. The music and food was great. Everyone had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops