Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

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why did the plane crash the pilot was Suicidal

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How do you make someone cry Take all of their belongings

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

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Q: what is the difference between a baby stroller and a black man. A: I don't try and hit black men when they cross the street.

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Why does the sultan of Turkey wear red suspenders? So that his pants wouldn't fall down.

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Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

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Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

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I like my coffee the same way I like my woman with big tits I lied about the woman

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a guy walks into a bar the barman says "what'll it be?"

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

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what's retarded and has red hair? You. ;)

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A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

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What's brown and sticky? Anal rape

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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What did the athletic white boy say to the aids carrying African boy? Ha.

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what do you say to a black man with a Porsche? "hey man, i like your car."

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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