roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

Why did the depressed teenager die? Because he had cancer.

So three men walk into a bar. One orders a Miller Light, the other orders a Guiness, and the third has a glass of ice water. He was the designated driver.

your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

natalie wilson is a hilarious stripper

A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

Roses are red, Violets are violet. You guys really suck at making poems...

What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

What's funny about a blond, a brunette, and a red-head, drunk in a Cadillac? Everyone knows integration is a myth.

How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

Q. what did the gay man say about the smoothie? A. he said "that is soooo good"

Your Mamas So Fat That When She Jumped Into The Ocean All The Whales Swam Around And Started Sinqinq (We Are Family Even Though Your Fatter Than Me.)xD

What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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