Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the black man eat for dinner? a sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black man with cancer? A very unfourtunate man.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happens when a black man spills all of his grape soda? He cleans it up and recycles the empty can

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A bear and a rabbit sits by a small lake in the forest, taking a shit. After a while, the bear asks the rabbit: "Do you have problems with shit hanging from you fur after you're done?" The Rabbitm ponders, and responds: "No, bear. I really don't". Than the bear wiped his ass with some moss.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats big, round, and full of helium? Michaels Balloon head!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why "Is Bart Simpson Yellow Its The Only Crayon The Illustrator had

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops