How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

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A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

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jack shine and keiran = nate robinson

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69. Yeah- that's my street address.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Garry Glitters on here

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Why couldn't the man speak any English? Because not everyone can.

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I know Mandarin, He's a good friend of mine

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Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

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Women.

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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Why did the fat kid break his leg? He got hit by a car

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A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

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What did the mentally retarted student get on his SAT? Drool

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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A black man found chicken on the floor. He ate it.

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The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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