A blonde walked into a phone pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What did one dog say to the other dog? A: "Bitch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Alice fail Maths? Because everybody else was Asian.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

It's long!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A schizophrenic man walks into a bar. He has split personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

KKK

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what is worse the Holocaust or slavery? patantan!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the cat die? Because it got shot by a teenager who was promply put in juvi and was fined $100,000 for animal abuse. The parents gave up on him and didn't pay the fine or bail and left their son to rot in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Like my post because I have no friends And then don't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how many gay guys does it take to fix a blender? baby oil!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What was everyone doing in the library? Reading

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You know what is not cool? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops