Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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what's brown and sticky? A stick!

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What's 4+7 47

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Oh no! My life is ruined!

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

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Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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Did you know brown and green rhyme? Just not with each other.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

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If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe My wife and kids would still be alive.

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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what time is it? 3:16

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what happens when you get ben roethlisberger, and a young college student? a very pleasant evening, helping ben cope with all the drama he has been in the past year leading him to the 2011 super bowl against the green bay packers.

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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conrad profit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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