How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? one and a ladder

"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

Roses are red violets are blue I have AIDS go get checked

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? .......................................................................................................................................... SEVEN EIGHT NINE!!!!!

Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw a fridge at it

How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

why cant helen keller drive? because cars werent popularly accepted when she lived.

What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

a black man, spanish man, and white man all fall off a building. and as they fall, i wonder: why are you laughing?

What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

What's funny about a blond, a brunette, and a red-head, drunk in a Cadillac? Everyone knows integration is a myth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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