I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

Wanna hear a joke? Sure Niiiiggggeeee what is the last letterThe last letter is NOT and R! Its an R. Good job honey

A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

My butt!!!!

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

javascript:alert("your own");

How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

Hgiugsf s8dyfgc sdyhgd©•øˆ????ª•†®???ßßs cdiug dvyg 34t5 fd87 vrry utgg erug 46 5gtyrue fVTU? Tree.

What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

Society.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a bus.

Q. What did the blak guy say to the other black guy? A. Hey.

What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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