Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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peter charastabopouloulous

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Why are Asians so smart? Because they study

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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What has wings and flies at night? A black man with wings

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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How do you make Al Gore cry? Kill his daughter.

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

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Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from the black man

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what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

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What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops