What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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2 men shot up a morgue, 16 bodies remain dead

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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A white man walked in da hood aaand he never came back

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Cold camel scrotum.

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How much did the Holla Cost?

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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