Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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2 men shot up a morgue, 16 bodies remain dead

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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How much did the Holla Cost?

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Cold camel scrotum.

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A white man walked in da hood aaand he never came back

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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knock, knock! who`s there? it`s me ! who me? yes!

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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twilight

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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