Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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Why did the leprechaun cross the road? If you still believe in leprechauns, you need to see a doctor.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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Like if you like big tits.

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

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Where do black jews go? The back of the oven

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar. They notice that there's only one stool left at the bar itself. They sat at a table with four chairs. They had a delightful time.

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There was a car crash in Mexico, 78 people were announced dead.

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

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What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

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Get in the Batmobile.

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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