why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it was hit and killed by a vehicle, much like all animals that try and cross roads. created by KA

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What number comes after 29? 30.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left... So they take the left and enjoy themselves at the place many considered the most wonderful place in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Cold camel scrotum.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

my namew is jd

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why cant helen keller drive? because cars werent popularly accepted when she lived.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black man didn't walk into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a black man, spanish man, and white man all fall off a building. and as they fall, i wonder: why are you laughing?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops