conrad profit

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Whats gayer than driving a prius Buttsex

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What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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well the duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand "quack" then went on its way

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Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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Electronic Arts is a respectable company.

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What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

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I'm a brony. I'm a brony. I'm a brony. Screw this shit, I'm not a brony anymore. I'm a man. I'm a man. Screw this too. I'm dead, not in bed.

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How do you avoid dying? You can't everything dies.

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whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

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what do you call a somone who murders someone else? black.

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Q: Why was the blonde in a black car? A: Becasue the car was a herse and she was killed a week before in an accident where the other driver was drunk Becasue his wife had left him with no money and no kids to come home to.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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