What did the rapist say to the woman? "If you tell anyone I'll kill you!"

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Have you heard that Hitler and Osama Bin Laden share a room with saton in hell

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

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Why was the light on in the house ? A. the owners were using it

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Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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A white guy, a black guy, and a Spanish guy jump off of a building. Due to acceleration of gravity, they hit the ground at a fast speed and die.

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whats worse then the worst thing that happened in your life? nothing.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's dead

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

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Why did the boy scream? Because his girlfriend poked him in the butthole, which he was not expecting. Thus surprising him.

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This one sucks!

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Knock, knock Who's there? Europe Europe who? No, I'm not, you're a poo!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What do you call a shattered lightbulb? A hazard that should be taken very seriously.

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how did the monkey fall out of the tree he was stupid how did the monkey get a black eye he was hit by a bus how did the monkey end up in the sewer he got hit by another bus

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There once was a man from berlin He knocked on a door to go in He got such a fright When the house did ignite That he never went knocking again

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You finish on her teddy bear.

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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