Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

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Why did the black guy only turn left? Because he was mentally retarded and couldn't tell left from right and had no idea where he was going

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What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

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"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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What is Worse than the holocaust?

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Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

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A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

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What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Ze Gestapo!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

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Roses are yellow Violets are also yellow Please don't stereotype again

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

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So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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