How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

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I had a dream, then i died in it and now i'm dead but who cares, how are you ?

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who's best is friend is really good looking? James Cornish

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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What did the Farmer say to his tractor? Most likely his life story, Farmers arn't always the most popular.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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A man is driving down a back country road in an old beat up car going 30 mph when he notices a black horse and a white horse keeping pace with him. They keep up with him for a few miles before passing him and turning into a farm on the road. The man is quite impressed with the horses speed and follows them to the farmer and offers the farmer living there the horses in exchange for the car. The farmer says the horses are bad luck but accepts the trade, and the man walks off with the horses. The man then enters the horses in a big horse race and puts a lot of money on them. The horses immediately take the lead and are about to finish the race when the black horse trips and the white horse goes back to pick him up and end up losing. The man is furious and returns the horses to the farmer and gets his car back. The next day another man is driving in a nicer car down the same road going 50 mph when the black horse and the white horse run right past his car. Impressed with the horses speed the man trades his car to the farmer who warns him about the horses. Ignoring the farmer's warning the man enters the horses in a new race. The horses once again take the lead and are close to finishing first and second when the black horse trips and the white horse goes and picks him up again once again losing their lead. The man angrily returns the horses in exchange for his car. The next day a third man drives down the same road in a brand new sports car. While he's testing the limits of the car the horses catch up to him and run with him. Surprised by the speed of the horses the man speeds up in his car but the horses manage to keep up. The horses eventually run past the man and turn into their farm, and the man looks down and realizes that the horses had been running faster than 120 mph. The man goes to the farmer and offers his car in exchange for the horses. The farmer accepts but gives the man the same warning he gave the two men earlier. The new man just like the other two men ignores the warning and enters the horses into a race and bets a lot of money on them. This time the horse take the lead out of the gate but feet from the finish line the white horse trips and falls. The black horse seeing this goes back and helps him up once again losing the race. The man is disgusted and releases the horses into the city in hopes that they'll die out there. The two horses are wander into a bar, and the bartender looks at them and says: "hey you two why the long face?"

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Q: who's Snow White's brother A: egg white Get the yolk!

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this is the part where we na na na na every good song needs a na na na na wake up at night screaming na na na na my grandmothers nickname is nana

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A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

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There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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You

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Q: What did one dog say to the other dog? A: "Bitch!"

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why can't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

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John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

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What do you call someone too young to drink? A minor

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Christopher Reeve walks into a room.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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