John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

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Your mom’s so dumb she forgot to update her WordPress installation and now she has pharmaceutical links all over her page.

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What happens when you shoot chuck norris? he dies

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Whats yellow pink and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? Oh were you expecting an answer here, if i knew the answer i wouldn't have asked a question.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard -you throw them.

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why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

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John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

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What's up? A direction...

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a blond, brunette, and red head all walk out of a hair salon.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Knock Knock Who's there Nobody is here. This is just a feeble attempt of your subconsious to convince yourself you have someone who cares about you in the least bit to mask the horrible wretched pain of loneliness and suffering that is the enternal damnation of your life.

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

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What happened to the short kid on april 30th: His girlfriend broke up with him

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Hi my name is Jim

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A man is driving down a back country road in an old beat up car going 30 mph when he notices a black horse and a white horse keeping pace with him. They keep up with him for a few miles before passing him and turning into a farm on the road. The man is quite impressed with the horses speed and follows them to the farmer and offers the farmer living there the horses in exchange for the car. The farmer says the horses are bad luck but accepts the trade, and the man walks off with the horses. The man then enters the horses in a big horse race and puts a lot of money on them. The horses immediately take the lead and are about to finish the race when the black horse trips and the white horse goes back to pick him up and end up losing. The man is furious and returns the horses to the farmer and gets his car back. The next day another man is driving in a nicer car down the same road going 50 mph when the black horse and the white horse run right past his car. Impressed with the horses speed the man trades his car to the farmer who warns him about the horses. Ignoring the farmer's warning the man enters the horses in a new race. The horses once again take the lead and are close to finishing first and second when the black horse trips and the white horse goes and picks him up again once again losing their lead. The man angrily returns the horses in exchange for his car. The next day a third man drives down the same road in a brand new sports car. While he's testing the limits of the car the horses catch up to him and run with him. Surprised by the speed of the horses the man speeds up in his car but the horses manage to keep up. The horses eventually run past the man and turn into their farm, and the man looks down and realizes that the horses had been running faster than 120 mph. The man goes to the farmer and offers his car in exchange for the horses. The farmer accepts but gives the man the same warning he gave the two men earlier. The new man just like the other two men ignores the warning and enters the horses into a race and bets a lot of money on them. This time the horse take the lead out of the gate but feet from the finish line the white horse trips and falls. The black horse seeing this goes back and helps him up once again losing the race. The man is disgusted and releases the horses into the city in hopes that they'll die out there. The two horses are wander into a bar, and the bartender looks at them and says: "hey you two why the long face?"

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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yo mama is so fat she is 1 candy bar away from dieing

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what did the fish say when he was eaten by a shark nothing fish cant talk

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Why did the boy laugh? Mr Tickle was his babysitter

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How do you kill a fashion icon? First make sure their blonde and stupid like most. then take a barstool preferably or what ever is closest then........ WACK HER IN THE EMPTY SPOT WHERE HER BRAIN SHOULD BE.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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