I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other!

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What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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Q:What is a black guy running with an iPod in his hand? A: A person who enjoys to listen to music while running.

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Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

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How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Watch this summer, as General Jack Ryu, attempts to fight his way across the jungle only known as "The streets" as he seeks to save Mary.Bison from the evil clutches of Master Jamie Ken in this epic written trailer! Jack Ryu: So we are brothers? Jamie Ken: No, I am your failed clone! I spontaneously begin burning from me feet and hands! WHHHHHHYYYY WAS I NOT THE CHOOOOOSEN ONE!!!!!! Mary B: Ryu... He is the fifth! THE FIFTH HAS ARRIVED! Jim "Dan" Daniels: Yes certainly, it is well within my scientific genius to create the fifth, yet my former associate Bob Sagat lost an eye in an explosion... CAN JACK RYU SAVE THE WORLD FROM THE MOST DEVASTATING BOMB IN THE UNIVERSE: THE AKUMA BEFORE JAMIE KEN UNLEASHES IT? CAN JACK RYU... FIGHT TROUGH THE STREETS... AND LIVE UP TO THE FIFTH AND SAVE MARY BISON? ALL DEPENDS IF HE CAN CONTROL HIS INNER CHUN LI! STREET FIGHTER V: rEVOLUTION

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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A white man walked in da hood aaand he never came back

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how did the man get down the stairs? he walked.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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