What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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A guy comes to a doctor and says: - Doctor, lately I'm having this dream where I kill my father and rape my mother. What does it mean? - Nothing.

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why is Justin Berber gay? hes not thats rust a myth

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Watch your lips.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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What is White over Black? Society.

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

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How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

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The WNBA

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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What do you call a black man? Jamal

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get on your knees and make a donut face:)

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm Blind.

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Whay was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had an extra penis

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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