What did the pig say after having sex? "Oink".

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a man who laughed at a joke that wasn't funny? A man who gets amused at the littlest things.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pankackes can fit on the roof? Purple because alians do not wear hats./

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

a man walks into a bar. he orders a single drink, enjoys it, and drives home feeling a bit tipsy, but he was still able to operate his vehicle without an accident or a criminal charge.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a black man and a bunk bed? A bunk bed is stable and can support two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

thumb_up thumb_down -22

who is awesome? no one...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats water and frozen? an ice cube

thumb_up thumb_down -22

We didnt star the fire ...........

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two gay men walk down the street holding hands, and are applauded for expressing their love for each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knock knock, whos there? the repo man.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

version 2 knock knock, whose there FU CK FU CK who FU CK YOU

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What sounds really bad? An accordion.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's Tammie short for? Diabetes claimed both her legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than an STD ridden Blonde Crack Whore? a black

thumb_up thumb_down -26

An elephant walks up to a camel and says why have you got a pair if boobs on your back, the camel the replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What looks like half an apple? The other half.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops