- Anti Joke

roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A; On the other side was another beautiful looking chicken who he plans to marry and raise a family with.

Dan, a 17 year of age male walks into a poor, raggedy bar. The bartender ask for I.D. But Dan continues to walk to the back at a corner booth with his name carved on the wall of the booth. Dan sits downs and begins to cry as the bartender pours a shot glass full of a light whiskey and gives it to him hopes of cheering up Dan, but sobs silently as he swallows the liquor and goes back to weeping to himself. The bartender then sits across Dan and ask if anything is wrong and does he need help. Dan looks up with his eyes glossy as if made porcelain glass, and his face red as if he was smacked across the face. Dan calmly ask the bartender what his name, the old and withering man replied with "Bart" Dan snickers as he finds that a bartender is Bart, because the first four letter of "bartender" is his name. Dan fixs his posture and looks Bart in the eyes, noticing that one of his old friend eyes is grey and bloodshot and constantly looking downward as if focusing on something on the floor. He ask what is with the deformitie of his eye, Bart sighs and pours another drink for himself and softly swallows the warming alcohol and tells Dan "I had an older bother, who pretty much invented the term asshole, but I loved him with all my heart. But one Christmas when I was young enough to know the meaning of family, my brother got a BB gun to hunt stray cats and raccoons" with a pause to down another liquid nummer "he was teasing me, and firing at my feet to scare me, if mom would have found out he was shooting his brother and not diseased filled animals mom would have token it away, but while he cut my toenails with metal bb's I trip and fell. The bb entered the side of my skull, piercing my eye and blinding my left eye forever" Dan just sits still looking at the empty shot glass pondering on why a mans brother would shot him. "But it's fine, he moved out two years later and haven't heard from him since, for all I know he maybe dead as we speak" Dan just berries his face into his cross arms now leaning on the old oak table. "So what's got a youngster like down?" Dan wipes his nose on his sleeve and looks Bart in his good eye "my brother died two days ago to a drug overdose, he was supposed to go to the movies but he ended up at a party and he tried a new drug and just died...and if that's not bad, my mom, my sweet mother has been dignosed with small cell cancer...and has a max of two years to live" Dan runs his hand down the wall over his name carved into the booth, "Dan and Sarah forever and for life" surrounded by a heart. "I don't like when people carve $hit into my wall but I left this because it was sweet, so how is the lady" as Bart began to pour yet another drink "dead" Dan whispered, "what happened?" Dan takes the drink from In front of Bart and downs the fluid without second wind. "She was at a hockey game and she decided to leave early because her favorite team was losing, on her way home a drunk driver swerved into her lane, head on collision, her legs were trapped by the Dashboard and steering wheel but her top half.....her top half flew out the windshield and landed on the side of the road, the believe she bled out before she hit the pavement " Bart got up and walked to the bathroom as Dan sucks the bottle away. Dan never told anyone his girlfriend died but he felt better telling Bart his true feelings. Dan walked into a bar, asked the bartender about a scar while his girl is smashed by car and I took this anti-joke way to far.

O: How do you kill a black man? A: Shoot him

A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

69

What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

i was going to say a gay joke butt f*** it.

verry nice how mUCH?

Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

Do u liek mudkipz GO TROLLING

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

My penis is small, Just kidding, it's huge.

Hi

What's wrong with the beetles? They suck dick

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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