roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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why was the black woman forced to sit in the back of the bus? all the other seats were taken.

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What did Joan of Arc have for her last meal? Steak

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Wanna here a funny joke Oh right. You can't hear

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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Why did Sally eat popcorn? She was watching a movie

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A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

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3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? bullshit!!

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

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Penisland

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Three men walk into a bar. Neither of them saw it coming

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roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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Your mom is intimately familiar with many mens' penis due to her many years as a successful urologist.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops